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When Your Mate Doesn't Love You Any More --- How To Avoid A Divorce
Has your wife or husband told you they do not love you anymore?
Matt could scarcely speak. His emotions were choking him up. He explained he felt like someone had two hands pressing against his throat. He could scarcely breathe in the air.
Matt just got off the phone with his spouse Lorie. She delivered the smashing news that she did not love him anymore and failed to understand the point in continuing their ten year marriage.
Once Matt left for work, Lorie gathered up the 2 children and headed out to move in with her mother, who lives 200 miles away. How could he avoid a divorce?
Matt understood that Lorie had not been happy with their relationship; nonetheless, he never dreamed that she would actually leave him. Was it too late to prevent a divorce?
She suggested regularly that his attempts to change were usually brief and shallow; absolutely nothing he ever did made her happy.
And to amplify Matt's uncertainty, all of his friends explained to him that Lorie was a normal woman, someone who could never be honestly content, a hungry pit that would never fill itself.
As a result, he never caught on to what the real problem was. He never spent the time to learn what was going wrong. Like most people, he chose denial over simple fact which resulted in losing the most significant element that he ever found.
A lot of people, once their mate leaves or tells them they do not love them any more, undertake four destructive things.
The thing is, these four things don't just make matters worse, but many times push the other partner even further away and closer to a divorce.
Listed below are the four points that Matt fortunately avoided doing once Lorie left:
1) Pleading with Lorie to come home
2) Telling her he'll change himself
3) Calling her often
4) Making her feel guilty for tearing up the family unit
It was essential for Matt to resist the lure to fall into all these, and many other common defenses immediately after Lorie left.
Because he wanted to save his marital relationship, and avoid a divorce, he knew he had to avoid making the situation even worse. Exactly what he had to do was to validate her feelings and become very careful concerning pushing her any further away.
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